Are you a couple that rarely fights? Try running together…someone gets frustrated, someone gets tired, someone huffs and puffs till they blow your little house down.
All right not all workouts go this way, but I’ve seen it happen to many otherwise happy couples and if this were a poker blog, I’d even be taking bets on the % of you that have gone through this at some point.
Since runners know that on any given day you could feel amazing or just plain tuckered out, it’s not surprising that this can lead to frustrations.
Which has lead many of you to ask:
How do I run with my partner?
Recognize up front that you both need to be clear about what you want from the run. Whether we’re talking about your running partner or running with your spouse, these tips all apply!
- Are you trying to push each other, motivate each other, provide accountability or simply be out there together?
- Can you agree on a consistent schedule?
- Will you take turns setting the route or duration?
The more you run together the easier you’ll fall in to a routine and find less need of the discussion about it. But initially, don’t feel awkward asking questions. Much better to know in advance than find yourself on an 8 mile run hitting paces you’ve never seen before and begrudging them the whole time.
Clarity around those goals can go a long ways as you’ll see in my tips below!
Tips for Running Together
Here are a few tips to enjoy running with a spouse or anyone loved one really (because let’s be honest it’s easier to be cranky with them than new friends!)…these are tips that David and I have cultivated over the years.
We don’t train together a ton simply due to different preferences in time, like he can’t imagine how I move my body at 5AM and I don’t want to start running at 7PM.
In most relationships one person happens to be the faster runner. Know which one you are and be respectful of where the other person is in their journey!
Decide on a leader:
Who feels the best that day or who has been doing more running? Let them lead the course you’re going to take.
Additionally when you’re on the sidewalk and can’t continually be next to each other it will keep you from constantly wondering if they’ve drifted off.
If you’re going to turn at the corner, gesture to it and a direction before you get there. This prevents needless bump and grid or issues because they can’t hear you over traffic or music.
Discuss a goal:
Set a goal for the run before you start…is it a nice easy 30 minute run? Or are you hoping to push the pace?
If it’s a nice easy 3 miler, but you’re feeling awesome then after 3 miles say “hey I’m going to tack on a few more at a faster pace because I feel great. Do you want to come?” Thus they have the option to stop without feeling like they’re being dumped.
Communication is key to any good relationship, right?Learn to run together without anyone feeling frustrated or left behind! #runchat Click To Tweet
Some folks can chat away the miles..others don’t care to speak once they start running.
David and I have found a great comprise where we chat for the 1/2 mile warm up walk and 1/2 mile cool down walk, but plug in our wireless headphones during the run.
Just know before you go how the other wants to workout and be prepared to be ok with it.
Yup probably annoys him that I prefer to sip off his hydration pack when we hike and bike…but then I’m the one carrying water when we run!
Everyone has a slightly different way they like to be encouraged.
Some people like the intense “come on you can go a little faster” and some people like me would punch you in the face. Some people like to hear “you look strong, good job” and some would give you the side eye.
Figure out what motivates you and check with your running buddy to find out their encouragement language before you start handing out “we’re almost there’s“.
Is Running Together a Date?
Some people need wine and candles, but David and I have always found our best connections while moving. Our first date was to the driving range to hit golf balls!
So to me it’s no surprise that a run, a hike, a bike ride are absolutely our favorite ways of continuing to date. But that’s us!
Just because someone has invited you on a run doesn’t necessarily mean it’s date. I’m not one who likes ambiguity, so I’d simply ask! Really it’s so much better just to know.
If it is a running date, a few things to consider before running together:
- Ask a few of the things I mentioned above like “do you want to bring music”, “are we going to keep this easy” – set expectations
- Don’t be afraid to bring body wipes and change of clothes
- Excuse yourself for a minutes to the bathroom to wash your face and clear away any bugs sticking there and then you can bust out the wipes
- Plan to finish at a coffee shop (or pizza shop if you’re awesome like us), so that you have a reason to hang out longer to chat
Do you run with your partner?
What tips would you add?
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