A few years ago I learned a lesson from Louise Haywhich I have tried hard to remember through the high’s and low’s of life. I believe it has served me well and as the events of this weekend remain on everyone’s minds I want to take a moment to share it with you.
I will do my best to put this in to words as it is a different view than held by most…and in some ways hard to phrase it so that it doesn’t seem cold or uncaring. But the short version is your feeling bad does not help anyone else…it doesn’t serve the world, you, those that have been hurt, etc.
This is not to say that we should all go about business as normal. We shouldn’t. We should all be impacted by these events, but I believe there is a different way to handle it than the societal norm of feeling bad.
If your child were to break their arm, you would not in turn break your arm to make them feel better. You smoother them with hugs, make chicken soup, create a little fort on the couch with cozy blankets and games. And your LOVE is what would make them feel better and understand that bad things happen, but this too will pass.
Sending out thoughts of love, rather than sympathy and sadness are a different way of caring. In some ways this is about learning to CHOOSE your feelings rather than unconsciously REACT. Choosing feelings that will benefit everyone and choosing those feelings because you do care and have been effected.
You may know someone who has been ill in the past and they often say “I don’t want your sympathy” or “Please don’t feel bad”. It’s simply because that doesn’t make them feel better. Your love, your friendship, your kindness, your patience those things help.
So today choose to be more patient, more kind, more caring, loving to yourself, give more hugs, share your loving thoughts, connect with friends, call loved ones, hold a door, make the world more joyful and send your love to those families effected..
Today I will sing to Christmas carols in the car because that will lift my spirits. Which will ensure that every interaction I have with others is kind and uplifting to them as well.
Today I will keep a lunch date with friends because we will all benefit from feeling that connection to another.
Today I will go for a run because it reminds me how blessed I am, which will remind me to hug friends and have patience.
How will you send out love today rather than continuing thoughts of fear or sadness?
I am grateful simply to be here in KC with my own family and unconditional love.