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Eating my feelings

One of the best tweets I saw from 5:05-5:15 on Friday in the firestorm of hell yes they cancelled it to why the hell did they cancel it was this one:
NYCRunners
Why?

A. It was funny
B. It was true
C. It wasn’t mean!!

Since I don’t drink, I ate my feelings. All of the emotions that drive us to the start line were bottled up with no where to go and I believe that is part of what caused such intense reactions from many about the race.

A marathon is an emotional event not just for four hours, but for months. It starts the terrifying moment you sign up, the exciting moment when you negative split a long run, the freak outs when you can’t finish a long run, the nerves and jitters as you taper and then hopefully concludes in elation as you cross the finish line.

In the week leading up to NYC, the normal taper madness was heightened as we wondered should it happen? Would it happen? Could it happen? After the cancellation announcement, David and I walked to a pre-planned Runner’s World Magazine party where we hashed out our feelings with all of the great RW team I met during the Runner’s World Half and Festival: Bart Yasso, David Wiley, my favorite PR team David and Beachy, along with a host of other RW employees and my own Miami friends.
Runners World PartyIMG_1609
Clearly I didn’t get the memo that reflective gear was no longer necessary. But I wanted to wear every bit of my NYC Asics gear! My Miami friends Brian and Deanna who made the best of this trip by getting ENGAGED!!
Asics NYC marathonAsics 5 Burrow Gloves
Everyone was still in a bit of shock and no one was sure how to feel or what was next. What we did know…there was food and without a race on Sunday we could eat whatever our hearts desired.  Having recently found out about my dairy and egg food sensitivity the weeks leading up to I was STRICT about avoiding it…this weekend I will probably be paying for in a few days. 

It started with some cheesecake at the RW party, then there were bites of David’s pizza, a chocolate chip cookie, some chocolate from Hershey world…but the real show stopper was upon our visit to the famous Serendipity where David and I split the MONSTER of a 3 scoop hot fudge and peanut butter sundae.  I nearly licked the goblet clean. IMG_1616IMG_1618
Hot fudge and peanut butter sundaeSerendipity3IMG_1653
In the past I would have beat myself about indulging, but I think this is one of the things intuitive eating and healthy eating have allowed me to move past. Now an indulgence is just that a moment to be savored rather than a consistent way of eating or behaving. I think these moments were simply part of what I needed to process the entire week and move on.

I didn’t go crazy the entire weekend. As minus the sundae (which was worth every bite) I never actually over ate, enjoyed loads of veggies and continued to avoid eggs and dairy…but nonetheless I knew my choices were not coming from a place of fueling my body to perform they were fueling my soul.  Are you an emotional eater? Do you feel bad about it after?

Thank goodness for all of you who have signed up already for the Holiday Bootie Buster Challenge as I know that will keep me on track during the holidays so I don’t continue to find reasons to over do it!
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Gratitude Journal
Nov 6
I am grateful for friendship during hard times. It’s a reminder of what is most important in life.

I stand by previous statements that I will DELETE mean and hateful comments. RTTF has always been a place to support and life each other up. You may absolutely have an opinion and share it here, but there is no room for hatred.

Thank you to EVERYONE who shared why runner’s run, sent me emails and text messages and virtual hugs. I was overwhelmed with the response and am glad to have provided many runners a voice.

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